


epic cookie run/pokémon fic

by KawaiiWolf101



Category: Cookie Run, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Ruby & Sapphire & Emerald | Pokemon Ruby Sapphire Emerald Versions
Genre: Pokémon are not genlocked because SCREW that, Swearing, Tags may change as fic updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2020-06-03 21:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19472428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KawaiiWolf101/pseuds/KawaiiWolf101
Summary: Mustard embarks on a Pokémon journey across Hoenn.





	1. beginning

**Author's Note:**

> i’m great at coming up with fic titles

Your name is Mustard.

But that part’s not important.

You feel like you should state a few things first, though.

You live in a secluded part of Hoenn, away from most people. Your home also doubles as the research facility of your grandma/local Pokémon professor, Dr. Wasabi. While it _is_ true that you think she’s batshit insane, you’ll be damned if she isn’t your grandma. (She’s also allegedly done _something_ for the scientific community, though you’re not quite sure what.)

And, most importantly, it’s your 17th birthday.

While yes, it’s just one more terrifying year away from being a legal adult, to you? It’s something more important, something you’ve discussed with your grandma for years.

Today is the start of your Pokémon journey.

You’ve heard of kids starting theirs far earlier, some as young as 12. But when you were at that age, it just didn’t seem like the right time. It just seemed like there was too much to do - school, friends, life just felt _busier_ back then. And, frankly, the idea of starting that young was _terrifying_ to you. But you’re older now. Life has slowed down, you’ve wrapped up most of your curriculum, and finally - _finally_ \- you feel prepared to tackle your Pokémon journey.

You wake up, letting out a big yawn. You manage to get out of bed and get yourself looking somewhat decent before going downstairs. Before you can even get into your kitchen, your Houndour (who you’ve affectionately nicknamed Sausage - he’s _very_ round) bounds up to you, yipping excitedly and jumping up onto your legs.

“Heyheyhey, slow down there, buddy!” You can’t help but chuckle as you gently push him down.

“Someone’s excited for their Pokémon journey, I can tell!”

You spot your grandma coming out of the kitchen. She’s smiling and - for once - _not_ wearing her labcoat. Instead, she’s wearing a kitchen apron holding a tray of cupcakes. Behind her is her Octillery (who became a literal green giant thanks to a science mishap), holding a spatula with one tendril and a plate with another. You give your grams an obligatory smile as she sets the tray down on the table.

“ ‘Sup, Grams.”

“Oh, I can’t believe my favorite little girl’s turning seventeen! And you’re going to be going all the way across Hoenn, too!” Your grandma gives you an affectionate squeeze. “I’m gonna miss you!” You notice that she doesn’t smell like her usual assortment of chemicals, either. She smells like a _normal_ grandma that just got out of the kitchen, and… also kind of _burnt?_

“Grams?”

“Yes?”

“Did you burn the cupcakes?”

She chuckles. “Oh, that’s from _earlier_. I burnt the first batch. Trust me, though, these ones are perfectly fine.”

“…Alright, Grams.”

“Anyways, I have so much I’d love to tell you, but you should have breakfast first!”

“ ‘Mkay.”

_________________________________________________

You sit down and have your birthday breakfast (true to Grams’ word, it’s _not_ burnt, surprisingly enough). You’re just about done when your grandma pipes up to speak.

“So, didja like it?”

“Well, it’s decent, I guess.”

“Aw, come on, I _know_ you like it!”

She gets up and ruffles your hair. You naturally groan.

“Graaams.”

“I love you, my spicy lil’ munchkin. Oh!”

Grandma perks up. “I nearly forgot to ask you: are you finished packing for your Pokémon journey?”

“Yeah.”

“Clothes?”

“Mhm.”

“Snacks?”

“Yep.”

“Wa-”

“Grandma, I’m not a baby anymore. You should _know_ I’m ready.”

She chuckles. “Alright, whatever you say, my lil’ girl. Go grab your bag; I’ve got some stuff to give you.”

After a quick trip upstairs, you return with your backpack. Grandma’s changed out of her apron in favor of her lab coat. You spot a box on the counter, but when you try to get a better look at it, her Octillery snatches it out of sight.

“Uhuhuh, no peeking yet!”

“Alright. What’s in the box, Grams?”

The last part is said almost sarcastically. You’re pretty sure you have a good idea of what’s in that box - probably some sort of Pokémon trainer starter kit.

“Just some stuff to help you on your journey! Here, have a look-”

Yep. Right on the money.

Grams beckons you closer. She spends the next couple of moments showing you what’s in the box, even though you already know what they’re for (one of the perks/downsides of having a Pokémon professor for a grandma, you suppose) - a generous pack of Pokéballs, some potions, some stuff in case your Pokémon gets a status effect, et cetera et cetera.

“-And this is probably a bit generous, but I’ve also included some money in case you run out of anything!”

“Oh, wow. Sweet.”

There’s a genuine hint of surprise. You’ve already got some pocket money of your own (Grandma knows that), but the amount of money Grandma gave you _is_ quite generous. You guess she really went ham packing this for you.

“Thanks, Grams.”

You tuck everything away in your backpack. Just as you turn to leave, Grandma taps your shoulder.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

You turn around and immediately slap your face. In her hand is a small, black Pokéball, custom-painted with a skull and flames.

“Sausage’s Pokéball! How could I forget?”

You take it from your grandma. It’s a little embarrassing in hindsight, but in all fairness, you painted it when you were - what, 12? - and in a far more edgier phase. You rarely use it, anyways, since you just have Sausage out all the time.

Finally, you turn and leave for the door. Grandma follows you outside, of course. She gives you one last squeeze before looking you in the eye.

“Go out and have fun on your journey, sweetheart. I know you’ll _kill_ it.”

She gives you a wink. This time, you can’t help but chuckle and squeeze back.

“Love you too, Grams.”

You turn and begin making your way down the trail, Sausage following close behind.

You can’t see her, but your grandma watches you all the way down that dusty trail, right until you vanish out of sight. She lingers for a moment as she wipes a tear from her eye.

“I’m so proud of her. I just know she’s gonna do _great._ ”

Then, she turns around. “Come on, Octo, we’ve got work to do.”

The door closes.

You’ve officially started your Pokémon journey.


	2. first fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mustard makes a friend and an enemy. Both are terrible people.

You trek through the dusty wasteland that is Grandma’s property. Many people think because you live in a practically self-contained desert, you’re vastly separated from the rest of society. And, well, in a sense, you _are_. It’s not _your_ fault your grandma decided to lodge herself into the middle of nowhere and make an artificial desert for ‘research purposes’. Maybe that’s why those same people think she’s weird.

But those people are wrong.

It’s not actually _that_ far from the nearest city - Rustboro’s only an hour’s walk away. You wouldn’t blame them, though- Grandma’s place is pretty well-hidden from most routes. On the way there, you manage to catch a Poochyena and a Taillow. Sweet.

When you get to Rustboro, however, you overhear a commotion.

“-Aye, lad, we TOLD you a thousand times Aqua’s CLEARLY superior! Boy, just _wait_ until we flood-”

“SHUT UP, you old BASTARD! You _clearly_ don’t understand the might of Team Magma! Forget Groudon- we could _easily_ crush you without them! Just _imagine_ what we could do with them on OUR side!”

Oh great, you stumbled upon a gang feud. 

The absolute _last_ thing you wanted to see when you were just starting your journey.

Fucking _fantastic_.

You try and continue on as normal, but there’s no use. As you walk further into town, you spot the two goons arguing smack dab in the middle of the street.

Except they _don’t_ look like the average run-of-the-mill goons.

The Magma guy is doing that Anime™ thing where he’s wearing his trenchcoat as a stupid cape, with his red hair slicked back to look like a flame. You nearly do a double take when you see the Aqua guy because _holy fuck he looks a hell of a lot like Archie_ , but (thankfully) a quick glance at his long hair and eyepatch tells you he isn’t him. Either way, though, you can tell you can tell you’re not going anywhere.

Not without drawing their attention first.

You manage to peel your eyes away and casually walk by on the sidewalk, pretending you didn’t see anything. However, you hear the commotion abruptly stop. There’s a brief pause before you hear the Magma guy speak up.

“ ‘Ey, yo! What are you doing here? Can’t you see we’re a bit busy here?”

You sigh before turning around to face him. “Dude, I’m _just_ passing by. How ‘bout we leave each other alone, and your anime-lookin’ ass can continue on its business?”

You hear the Aqua guy snort. Mr. Anime Man™ snarls, his face turning slightly red. Maybe calling him an ‘anime-looking ass’ wasn’t a good idea.

“Really? REALLY?! For your information, my name is Fire Spirit, and I’m a TOP agent in Team Magma! You messed with the wrong guy, just you fuckin’ _wait_ -”

He doesn’t get to finish because right at that moment, you start _laughing_. Like, full-on snorting clutching your stomach laughing. You really can’t take him seriously anymore - not with a name like _that_.

“Oh- oh my Gods- is that _really_ your name? Your hair- your stupid jacket cape- Jesus, you really _are_ an anime protagonist-”

You can’t finish because you just can’t stop _laughing_. Through your tears, you see Fire Spirit’s face grow as red as his stupid hair. He tries to hold it together, but all in one instant, he just _loses_ it.

“YOU KNOW WHAT?! POKÉMON BATTLE, ME AND YOU, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! MAYBE WHEN I FINALLY CRUSH YOU, YOU WON’T BE LAUGHING SO HARD!”

You pause to wipe a tear. “Alright, alright, sure. Whatever you say, dude.”

You see the Aqua dude scoot off to the side as you step into the street to face Fire Spirit. You make a gesture and say, “After you.”

Fire Spirit eagerly snatches a Pokéball from his pocket. You hear him mutter, “Finally, some fuckin’ respect” before he slams it onto the ground.

“Charmander, get them!”

Sure enough, a little Charmander pops out of his Pokéball. It gives a brief battle cry before it seems to remember it’s supposed to be serious, instantly changing its posture. You take this as a cue to grab Sausage’s Pokéball (God, you hope Fire Spirit doesn’t see your shitty paint job).

“Sausage, go!”

Sausage pops out. He yips and wags his stupid little tail, going up to jump on your legs instead of facing the Charmander. You can’t help but chuckle and scratch his head.

“You named your Pokémon _Sausage?_ Gods, what a stupid name!”

Fire Spirit just begins _laughing_. You’re almost tempted to make a snarky remark, until you realize that he’s distracted - and, therefore, it’s the _perfect_ time to strike.

“Sausage, use Bite!”

Fire Spirit stops laughing as soon as Sausage charges forward, biting into Charmander. He looks genuinely shocked.

Oh, this is going to be _fun_.

_________________________________________________

“NOOOO! HOW COULD I LOSE TO A STUPID POKÉMON NAMED _SAUSAGE?!_ ”

Fire Spirit is wailing dramatically (as if he couldn’t get _more_ Anime Protagonist™), full-out kneeling-on-the ground crying at the Gods. You choose to ignore him in favor of giving Sausage lots of belly rubs. He’s quite happy with that arrangement.

“Sorry, but you just _suck_ , bruh. You’re gonna have to deal with it.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him glaring at you. You pause the Belly Rub Time™ to add, “Oh, I nearly forgot- you have to pay up. I _won_ , after all.”

He grumbles. “But I don’t _wanna-_ ”

“Sorry, but tradition’s tradition. I don’t get to make the rules. Now come on, cough it up.”

Fire Spirit begrudgingly gets up and hands you a wad of cash. You quickly pocket it before he can change his mind.

“Also, kid, I never got your name-”

“Nope. Not giving you the satisfaction.”

“But how else am I gonna-” He throws his hands up. “Oh, _whatever_. Mark my words, though- next time I see you, your ass is getting WRECKED.”

Fire Spirit points his finger at you as he walks away. You choose to ignore him as you continue giving Sausage belly rubs. Life is great.

“Ay, kid! Great show there!”

You’re interrupted by a hefty slap on the back from the Aqua dude. You wheeze and nearly trip over Sausage. 

“Hey, maybe a _little_ warning before you do that?”

“Sorry, sorry!”

He backs off and lets out a hearty laugh. “Anyways, th’ name’s Pirate! What’s your name, lass?”

Eh, sure, why the hell not? At least he’s not Fire Spirit. 

“Name’s Mustard - and no, don’t ask why I’m named that. Long story.”

“Yeah, alright, alright. Anyways, I’ll make sure to put in a good word for you at Aqua, ‘aight? Jolly good show there - really knocked Fire Spirit off his high horse! And oh, when he _lost-_ ”

Pirate bursts out into full-on belly laughter. You can’t help but shrug. “Eh, he _asked_ for it.”

He pauses to wipe a tear from his eye. “Aye! Anyways, I best be off now! I got some Aqua business to take care of!”

You bid each other farewell, and then he walks off, (hopefully) never to be seen again.

It’s only as you sit in the Pokémon Center later that day, revelling in your victory over Roxanne, that it crosses your mind that maybe - just _maybe_ \- you shouldn’t have poked at a fucking Team _Magma_ agent in the first place.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s some sketches for fire spirit+pirate!
> 
> https://imgur.com/a/Rt04jRL


	3. update (not a chapter)

hey, guys! just a quick update:

as much as i love this fic, i've hit a serious writer's block regarding it, and i'm slowly losing interest in it. plus, now that the school year's started, i can't really find the time nor motivation to update it. i thought i'd give you all some closure so you weren't left in the dark.

still, i love that you've given me so much positive feedback, and i hope i'll be able to upload more content in the future!

thanks for all the support!

-kawaii


End file.
